I was binge drinking because I felt/knew that I could be more than I believed I was. I simply could not access my core worth and value and even my dignity.
Over 30 years ago, I had been on a weekend binge that included a trip to Sitka, AK for a meeting. I barely remember the flights, but when I arrived in Sitka there was a jug of whisky that had leaked all over my clothes. I don’t even remember how the bottle ended up in my suitcase.
Life is grand now. I am now a relationship coach, teaching people to have better relationships with themselves and their thoughts. I retired from being a mental health and substance abuse counselor for 15 years. with the help of Robert Collier’s book, “The God in You” and the Law of Attraction I have come to accept that I am the creator of my life because thoughts are things.
My Two Cents on the label “Alcoholic”, Back in the days of binge drinking in village Alaska, in spite of close calls that could have cost me my life, I didn’t consider myself an “alcoholic”. For some reason the word rubbed me the wrong way, and it wasn’t about me being in what is considered “denial.”
Now with over 30 years of sobriety I’ve come to understand why the word didn’t and still doesn’t resonate with me. I am not a disease or a label created by the medical profession. Just a note here, I acknowledge that there are others who find ease with the word ‘alcoholic’ and that’s okay.
What works for me is that I am a human being, a person, a living, breathing, feeling, reasoning being. I am not and never have been an “alcoholic”, nor will I ever be an alcoholic. The label doesn’t define me, who I really am. I am a person of worth and value. I am a person of dignity.
I am a person, who at one point in my life, didn’t believe I was worthy or had value or dignity. It was because of that belief that I kept drinking. I allowed that false belief to keep me down in the bottle.
Once I had my awakening, which happened in Sitka, Alaska, I realized and accepted that I am worthy, I have value, I can maintain my dignity regardless of circumstances. I chose to BE sober, to be the real me, the me that is worthy of love and respect, especially from and of myself.
I have learned how to find better feeling thoughts so that I can lift myself out of any situation, which in the past, would trigger me to turn to the bottle. And finding better feeling thoughts works for me in a way that accepting the word “alcoholic” never did.