In my addiction, it was the biggest misrepresentation of who I truly was- as a human being, son, brother, father, and friend. I wore layers of masks to hide to the world who Jason really was. I dwelled in self-pity and used shame to keep myself stuck in my addiction, in a pit. I got complacent and comfortable in this pit and felt normal only when I used a substance to help me avoid my LIFE.
In the 15 years I struggled with my addiction, I had 4 years sober, where I didn’t pick up, but I wasn’t living a recovered life. So when things in my life turned, I relapsed. In the past 4 years, I went hard in the paint. I went to 7 different treatment facilities. I still wasn’t ready. I was dying and had felt like I had no purpose other than staying stuck. I was at the point where this lifestyle of avoidance and my addiction was progressing to dangerous points in my life. I was drinking about a gallon of vodka a day and mixing drugs into the occasion. I needed to change my position in life.
I went to a service at my church and heard a sermon that changed my life. It brought me to the heart of God. If I want to change my position in life I needed to change my principles. I was tired of being stuck. I wanted to live a life that God intended me to live. I decided to check myself into a treatment facility 13 Jan 2017. This was not a typical program this was an eight-month-long work/therapeutic based program, and it changed everything for me by the grace of God. I am not sober, I am grinding daily for recovery. There is a difference.
I have eight months in recovery. I mentor others with the message God has built in me. Life is still life and it is ever fluid but I have the ability to sit with it. I stay teachable with experience and understand. I am going to be ok and even when life is not. I started my own recovery brand (SoBur Supply Co.), which is more like a movement, to help change the stigma others may have with addicts and addiction. I am living a life now that God intended me to live and my grind is to help others see/feel/share that it is possible and to believe in themselves. Love is going to free us, not shame, guilt, or punitive measures. I wake up- show up- don’t give up- SoBur is Doper!
I want to thank my family and friends for the support and love to help me get to this place in my life. I want to thank CITC Recovery Services their beautiful programs and staff, who truly love those they help.